Sometimes both spouses know when they are going separate ways, and it is time to file for divorce. However, in other cases, only one partner is unhappy. Whichever situation you are in, it can be hard to tell your spouse you want a divorce. Here are some tips on how to make the conversation go as smoothly as possible.
Think About What You Will Tell Your Spouse
You should think about what you want to tell your partner before you start the conversation. You should consider what their response will be, especially if they have no clue that you want a divorce.
You may want to write down your thoughts. You should keep the discussion general about why you are unhappy and feel that you have grown apart. If you are certain that you do not want to remain married, be firm when you tell your spouse that you plan to file for divorce. Do not give them false hope that you can reconcile.
Schedule a Good Time to Talk
It is important to pick a time to discuss the divorce when you will not be interrupted and have enough time to talk. You may want to pick a private place, such as a park or your house, to have this meeting. Be sure not to schedule this conversation when other major things are going on in one of your lives, such as right after a job loss or when you or your partner is ill.
Remember that your spouse may be taken off guard when you inform them that you want to divorce. It is important to anticipate that they could become emotional or angry.
You should remain calm even if your spouse is not. One trap you want to avoid is pointing fingers at each other when discussing why your marriage failed. Do not point the blame at your spouse even if they do this to you or make angry accusations. The reality is that both of you were partially at fault.
Don’t Discuss Details
When you first talk about getting a divorce with your partner, do not discuss the details. You should both take a break and think about issues you need to resolve before you make any important decisions.
Schedule Future Conversations
You should set aside time later to meet and discuss the nuts and bolts of who will file for divorce, when you will separate, and how you will deal with custody, child support, and dividing your property and debts. You are much more likely to agree on these issues if you wait until later to discuss them.
Are you considering filing for divorce? Call our Norfolk office to schedule a free consultation with our skilled and compassionate divorce lawyers to learn about your rights and what to expect when you file for divorce.